White guys in commercials. So goofy. So malleable. So easily pushed around by women. Wells Fargo continues the long-running entertainment narrative that White guys are harmless oafs in their Bake Sale commercial featuring Pushover White Guy.
Let’s check out a quick video breakdown of this 30-second spot:
:01 – A White guy in a beige shirt makes a purchase from an all-girls soccer team bake sale.
:02 – Look at his posture as he walks off-camera to the left. His eyes are looking toward the ground, shoulders slumped. What is the meaning of this? Looks like he won tickets to see an ESPN Town Hall meeting hosted by Jemele Hill. And before you say that he could have been looking down from the sun, check out the posture on the Asian looking coach facing the same direction at the right of the frame.
:03 – “Oooohhh” Only it didn’t sound like a “Oooohh (that looks good).” It sounded like an “Oooohh (where’s the nearest port-o-potty or treeline).”
:05 – “I don’t have my wallet, so…” Then why did you slow down? Who does shit like that? Do you know anybody who sees a homeless guy on the side of the road, slo.ws down their car and says “Uhhh… I don’t have my wallet, so…” and then breezes off? Neither do I.
:06 – “Perfect, you can send a digital payment.” There’s an empowered little girl. Good training for your future career in sales, HR, or a STEM job.
:08 – Smiling Asian coach and the girl giving him the stink eye are thinking the same thing: “Hurry up and give us your money, Whitey!”
:10 – “I don’t have one of those payment apps…” and then Harmless Smiling White Guy turns to leave.
:11 – “Perfect, you have a U.S. bank account, right?” While I’d love if he told her, “Sorry, it’s a Kazakhstani account,” the writers do not share my rich, multicultural sense of humor.
:13 – “Perfect, then you should have Zelle.” Yet another girl says “perfect.”
:16 – The 3 girls staring think to themselves, “Hurry up and give us your money, you gullible bastard!”
:18 – Harmless Smiling Pushover White Guy says “Perfect!” but his face says, “I just got suckered,” as he looks from right to left to witness the approval on everyone’s faces. Fact of the matter is, that three girls said ‘perfect’ to him, then he said ‘perfect’ and then all of the girls reinforced the word ‘perfect.’ I’m not sure if there is a specific psychological tactic that this mirrors. If any of my readers know, please leave a comment.
:24 – “Does your coach use Zelle too?” our oafish hero inquires with a mouthful of food.
:27 – Harmless Smiling Pushover White Guy exits with not one, but 6 bags of cookies and popcorn. He jogs off-screen in the most faggy way possible, holding the shit that he never intended to buy, with a mouth wide open. None of the White guys that I know run like that. Yet, Wells Fargo continues the role of the harmless, White oaf, that the entertainment industry has been pushing on us for decades.
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