Did Katy Perry Kill a Nun?

Katy Perry, owner of some platinum selling albums, a career currently swirling the bowl and a shitty pixie haircut, may have accelerated her downward spiral in a spectacular way this week.  You see, I believe that it is possible that Katy Perry killed a nun.

What possible evidence to I have to support that this preposterous claim?

  • Within hours after openly criticizing Katy Perry,  the 89 year old Sister collapses in court and dies.
  • This is Katy Perry in 2008

this is Katy Perry in 2018

Her metamorphosis from an adorable, feminine creature into a mannish pixie-cut skank with an eyeball in her mouth hole should serve as clear evidence that she is clownshit crazy quite possibly suffering from untold psychological damage and is indeed at least capable of murder.

  • But the most damning bit of (admittedly very circumstantial) evidence is the company whom she keeps. Perry is a rabid, drooling supporter of the WhiteWater Wench. One who has been compensated handsomely by both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama’s respective Presidential campaigns.  Hillary’s fiercest opponents and protectors have a proclivity for ending up dead, often by violent means.  Katy Kat may have simply ripped out a page from Hillary’s playbook.

Thus, I believe that it is remotely possible that Katy Perry killed a nun.

Now, you and I know that as theories go, this isn’t just thin.  It’s anorexic. Think Kate Moss circa 1993.

However, is the unproven and semi-ridiculous hypothesis that Katy Perry killed a nun less believable than any of the following news stories…

  • A School Resource Officer and 33-year veteran with an excellent reputation, who had chased down suspects on school property in the past, freezes during a school shooting on his campus.  During the shootout he waited outside and later positioned himself safely in a stairwell with his gun drawn, aiming at no one.
  • That same SRO, doesn’t merely refuse to engage an active shooter, he told Broward County Sheriffs Officers who were arriving at the scene to stay at least 500 feet back, potentially costing victims who were critically injured with a chance of survival their lives.
  • That same Deputy who damn near shat himself when faced with an active shooter situation, publicly stated that he “believed he did a good job.
  • The FBI missed not just one or a few, but a metric fuckton of opportunities to stop Nikolas Cruz before the Parkland Massacre.
  • Our nation’s FBI, whilst undoubtedly spending time and resources chasing the ghosts of a Trump-Russia conspiracy, claimed that they could not identify the source of a YouTube comment where someone, later identified as Nikolas Cruz, stated “Im going to become a professional school shooter.” The FBI never contacted YouTube to identify a clear threat.
  • The FBI did not identify the user behind the comments, despite the fact that his username was Nikolas Cruz. You know, with a “k”. You know, with the exact same fucking spelling of the guy who would follow through with his threats a few months later.
  • The same Broward County Sheriffs Office that trained the (seemingly) cowardly SRO, received 39 calls from the home of Nikolas Cruz over a 6-year period yet did not prevent the Parkland Massacre.
  • A political staffer for the Democratic National Committee is killed near his home in Washington, DC. The victim recently was in contact with WikiLeaks. His murder is labeled a botched robbery by Washington DC Metro Police, despite the fact that neither his wallet, keys, watch, gold chain, necklace or cell phone were taken.
  • A vocal critic of the Clinton Foundation’s corrupt practices in Haiti commits suicide one week before he was set to expose details of the fraud against his country to the Haitian Senate.
  • A Former United Nations General Assembly President dies by accidentally crushing his own throat in an apparent weightlifting accident. You might not believe this but… His death occurred a week before he was scheduled to testify against Hillary Clinton and the Democratic National Committee in a corruption case.

The last three examples are incidents that directly or indirectly link to Empowered/Fierce/Queen Bee candidate, Hillary Clinton.

Hmmm… I think the Katy Perry killed a nun theory odds just jumped up to thin (which is more than we can say for Hillary in that picture).





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