Yesterday afternoon, I met out with a friend I haven’t seen in a few months at a local restaurant. Some NFL games were on the screens surrounding the bar, but the games were not what drew my attention. There were a few commercials (Lyft and iPhone 8) on that I hadn’t seen before featuring androgynous and even manly looking women.
First was Apple’s new iPhone 8 commercial, “Portraits of Her.” Only I didn’t see a “her.” I saw a 9-year old boy that seems to have been raised on a steady diet of soy milk.
This does nothing to make me want an iPhone. Because no matter how many filters this thing features, none of them made this girl, with hair short enough to nauseate most men, even remotely attractive. The biggest laugh came at the end as some poor chump was waiting for her. Quite the Disney-style ending that is vastly different from real life, where most girls in their 20’s and 30’s who chose to lose their locks are left to rot at the bottom of the dating pool. But why show this during games where men make up the majority of your viewing audience? Nothing from this commercial made me say “I need to get an iPhone 8.” Even my friend made a disgusted grunt when I pointed the waif out to him. Not even words, just a grunt. Let’s move on…
Sweet shit! The years have not been kind to Switch from the Matrix. Could you imagine her as your Lyft driver… would you get in the car?
Imagine being Jordan Peele, stuck in out in space with Butchy McFistaVag, listening to an endless loop of Sarah McLachlan and The Cranberries. Of course, that may just be his thing, as his former partner, Keegan-Michael Key took his own imaginary commercial trip with a cross-dressing manatee.
The point is, successful companies and commercial campaigns have focused on bringing the majority of the customers what they want. The NFL has been shoving progressive ideologies, feminism and even multiculturalism in the collective faces of a largely male fan base, who’s own ideals often run counter to the concepts that the league espouses. This may be one of the more ridiculous business strategies in recent memory; piss off 70% of your customers who are not progressive to placate the 7% that are. Over the past few years fans have become increasingly fed up and have turned off the game that they loved to watch for so long.
The advertisers of the NFL seem to have followed suit. Television is a visual medium and men rely on visual stimulus. Try as they may, companies will not be successful pitching the iPhone 8 with a fedora-clad waif, or car rides with AstroButch. Bud Light lost customers after their releasing their feminism-inspired Bud Light Party commercials featuring Fat Amy Schumer and Cuck Rogen. Advertisers will eventually fail miserably by pitching products and services to the remaining men who watch the NFL with females that we find nauseating, unattractive and visually repulsive.